WARNING:
What follows is a blog post written well before my morning triple espresso kicked me up a notch. I may come across as being somewhat of a sour old fart. But then again according to my wife , I am a sour old fart.

Let me tell you about Living Room...

Up here in Manitoba we have a whole lot of empty. The province is something like twice the size of England and home to about a million people. In fact we often hear our well coiffed politicians bemoan the fact that our population is stable at best and in many years it actually declines. You see, the old timers around here have a nasty habit of passing on to the happy hunting ground once they reach their 90's. And too many youngsters are accepting jobs offers "down east" in one of the new tatoo/piercing parlours that are springing up like magic mushrooms in downtown Toronto. What's worse, most working couples are so stressed out just trying to eake out a living that if they ever do get around to having sex, it is more like trying to shoot pool with a rope than it is about making babies.

The general reaction around here seems to be mild hand wringing. There might even a bit of teeth gnashing going on. For some reason forecasts of "zero growth" generate fear in some folks. Personally, when I hear that there simply "aren't enough people" in the province I can't help but grin.

You see, I don't like people.

I like dogs. I love my wife. My family is alright most of the time.

But people? They're the worst.

That's why when I find myself in a church for a wedding, funeral or to ask directions to the nearest Hooters family restaurant, I get down on my creeky knees and thank the Large One upstairs for the fact that I can go an entire hunting season without ever seeing another person.

Praise the lord and pass the amunition!