It gets WORSE!

Don't ask me why, but I actually went back to the AKC site to check out some other breeds. Boy o boy, I wish I hadn't (is there some sort of sado-maso pattern emerging here? If so, drop me a line on my "private" e-mail account to discuss the various..uh...options....)

Anyway, as usual, I digress. To the rant at hand:

It looks like the German Wirehaired Pointer "history" posted to the AKC site is not the only one that reads like it was written by a thousand monkeys hammering away at a thousand typewritters. It turns out that a lot of them are the stuff of English and History teacher nightmares. Here are just a few examples....

The Portuguese Pointer: Initially the dog was bred in the royal kennels and but later became a very popular hunting dog for the lower classes of society.
"And but later", is that from Shakespeare?

The GSP: The German Shorthaired Pointer combined in field-dog requirements those qualities which have long popularized the various breeds of hunting dogs.
"...combined in field-dog requirements those qualities..". Yup, there you have it folks. Proof that our educations system is juuuuust fine.

The Brittany: The Brittany was named for the French province in which it originated as early as AD 150.
While the statement seems to be grammatically fine, it is, and please excuse my Français, pure and utter BULLSHIT!! I mean c'mon! 150 AD? Why not just go for the gold and say 150 BC? Throw in an reference or two to woolly mammoths and Jurassic freakin park while you're at it.

The Spinone: The Spinone Italiano, or Italian Pointer, is Italy's all-purpose hunting dog. It is also sometimes referred to as a Griffon, since that name formerly designated the hunting dogs of all Continental Europe.
This just in from the AKC: all hunting dogs from Continental Europe used to be called Griffons. Stay tuned for further fantasies and made-up ball-wash.

The Griffon: The origin of the Wirehaired Pointing Griffon came about shortly after Mendel published his experiments on genetic heredity, which inspired many Europeans to try their skills at breeding
Wow. Just freaking WOW. This is the FIRST sentence in the Griffon history and it is sooo out of the ballpark that I am sure Eddy Korthals is spinning in his grave just thinking about how wrong it is.

The Bracco Italiano: This dog of ancient Italian origin used for bird hunting has modeled itself and developed over the ages; from the hunting of yesteryear by means of nets, he has adapted himself to the present hunting and shooting. Frescoes from the 14th century are proof of the indisputable timelessness of the Italian pointer over the centuries, whether either regarding his morphology or his aptitudes at hunting as a pointer.
"whether either regarding"...yup, that there is real good English talking right there.

The Weimaraner: Throughout its early career, the distinctively gray Weim was propogated by nobles in the court of Weimar who sought to meld into one breed all the qualities they had found worthwhile in their forays against the then abundant game of Germany.
Is it just me or does this sound like something written by 15 year old girl desperately trying to sound deep and brooding?

WHO WRITES THIS SHITE? Please, for the love of all that is English and pure, make it go away!!!!

(insert emoticon symbol for curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, eyes ablaze...)

A Wirehaired Rant

It may just be the egg-nog talking, but I feel a rant coming on. Please bear with me.

OK, here's the deal. Over the last few weeks, the average daytime temperature in Winnipeg has been about 3 degrees colder than the surface of the planet freaking Neptune...in a blizzard. In fact, it was so cold last night that a torch-carrying mob actually built a large bonfire out of the carcasses of several local TV weather announcers.

So what can be done to stave off the winter blues? Well you can try roasting marshmallows over a weatherman fueled bonfire. Or you can write. That's right: write. It works for me. In the last couple of weeks, I've finished a good chunk of the never-ending book project. Today I jotted down some more ideas, corrected a few faux-pas and ignored the fact that sitting at a computer for 22 hours a day is a great way to grow a beer gut and build a spongy layer of flab on my formerly skinny ass.

Anyway, I digress...

Today I've been writing about the Deutsch Drahthaar. A heck of a cool gundog breed from, you guessed it, Deutschland a.k.a Germany. And as usual, I spent a lot of time working my way through breed books and digging around the interweb checking facts and figures in an effort to find out just what makes the breed tick. At some point, I ended up on the AKC website. I wish I hadn't.

What I found there was a "description" of the Drahthaar that defies description. It is easly among the worst pieces of pure bovine scheiss I have ever had the displeasure of reading. It is such a funky mix of half-truths, contradictions and fluff that it makes a Sarah Palin press conference sound like Ghandi reading the Bhagavad Gita.

I recommend to whomever wrote it that he/she
1. Head straight back to his/her highschool and sue the English, history and geography departments for criminal negligence and
2. Actually check into a breed before spouting off about it.


Happy Festivus.

A Change of Pace

In the interest of changing pace a bit, I thought I would post a few photos of something other than dogs. So click on the photo above to view a series of images of cowboys doing what they do best. Photos are mainly by local photo-journalist extraordinaire Dustin Leader, but I've added a couple of mine to the series and one or two from Ross Cornish. All shots were taken during the fall round-up near the small town of Saint Amboise, Manitoba

Grouse Hunting with Henri, Souris and Uma

So I've given up. I've resigned myself to the fact that I will never make a really good video. But I haven't given up completely. I've just lowered the bar a bit. I've stopped worrying about making the next Citizen Kane and joined the legions of handy-cam hacks posting to YouTube. I've even set up my own YouTube Channel.

Here's my latest block-buster. It is a jumpy, low-fi, patched together piece I call "Grouse Hunting With Henri, Souris and Uma".

It's coming to a theatre near you soon! (not).

Lazy no more!

Ever wonder what happens if you stop blogging for a few months? Well, since I have not posted anything to my blog since mid...uh, never... I am now in a position to tell you that:

1. A spicy red pepper of guilt takes seed in your noggin. It eventually grows into the conviction that you are as lazy as a three-toed sloth with a dime-bag of skunk weed and a skull- bong.

2. People start emailing you wondering if you are in a coma or have joined some sort of cult. Those emails eventually morph into rumours and conspiracy theories regarding your whereabouts. In fact, even some of my most level headed friends recently came to the conclusion that I had become a scientologist cool-aid salesman waiting for the return of the Halley's comet.

Truth be told (where DID that expression come from?) it is the hunting season; that time of year when the main activities around the Koshyk household are hunting game,eating game and tapping into the wine cellar to find just the right bottle of red to go with the game we manage to bag.

So that is my excuse for not updating my blog or website recently…and I’m sticking to it. The only reason I’m actually at the keyboard today is that we got hit with a foot of snow yesterday…oh, and my ten year old truck is now on strike.

But as soon as it warms up around here (and as soon as I can duct-tape the truck back together), we will be heading out to the field once again. In the meantime, I’ll update my website and upload some videos to my new YouTube channel. Have a look, let me know what you think (please be kind).

He's Heeeeeere!!

Lisa and I would like to announce the arrival of our new pup!!!


Say hello to Silvershot's Pocket Rocket, call name "Henri" (named after the famous Montreal Canadian hockey star Henri "Pocket Rocket" Richard). Henri is out of Judy Balog's Slivershot kennel and the son of NFC/NAFC/FC/AFC Grau Geist Lil’s Gust V Westend MH, CD, RDX, SDX, RN, VX and Gould's Truly Cool Falls Fun. I have posted the first of what will surely be many sets of photos on my website. Just click on the photo to have a look.

Cheers!